About four months ago this subject was addressed in terms of overcoming struggles and defeats [https://www.facebook.com/…/a.398674654054…/438549206733928/…] We all experience problems – physical, emotional, societal, etc. – it is how we deal with them that separates the successful from the “woe is me” camp.
What could be happening to contribute to these adverse situations we find ourselves in?
·Addiction: to brain chemicals. Do you want to be in a perpetual state of excitement? Be careful what you wish for….
·Alignment: if your attitude and beliefs are not in sync, you may be encouraging adversity to follow you
·Fear: together with panic, maybe asking the universe to put those very things in your path (remember the Law of Attraction)
·Finite Time & Space: there’s only so much of both, so if you find you are “losing” people, circumstances or things in your life, it just may be a clearing to bring in something new and more beneficial
·Future-Focused: spend too much time there = a great way to miss opportunities in the present
·Secondary Gains: what if having troubles always brings out the love and support of your family and friends?
Okay, so is there anything that can help “ease the pain”? Try on some of the following:
·Acceptance & Acknowledgement: brooding and blaming don’t do much to help the situation, try to make peace with what has occurred, take responsibility
·Action: this will lead to new experiences and information which can lead to a different perspective and new insights
·Advice: you don’t have to weather the storm alone – tap into your support system, find a mentor, remember your heroes
·Analysis: don’t go overboard, but do this to learn from negative experiences that affect your mindset in a deep way; ask what you would do differently next time. Beware of letting your ego dictate this, as you may find yourself swearing you’ll never take a risk again…
·Focus: stay in the present; approach the situation as a problem to solve, i.e. a “solution opportunity”
·Humour: laughter is one of the best ways to release stress, tension, and those feel-good chemicals; give yourself some time, it may not be the easiest thing to do at first (Elon Musk knows how https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/300362 )
·Optimism: this doesn’t mean not facing reality, but we have a lot of clichés about this for a reason (it’s always darkest before the dawn; every cloud has a silver lining; if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, et al.)
·Perseverance: never give up; move forward, dream bigger – this will teach your mind that adversity is a chance to create alternate paths
·Preparation: even if it’s unlikely to happen, there is something comforting about having gone through the worst-case scenario in your head and planning for how you would handle it (“I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best,” Benjamin Disraeli)
·Purpose: be super-clear about your “why” – add passion to the mix and you’ll always be able to find your way
·Reinforcement: keep reminding yourself about what you have learned, how far you have come, and how you are growing every day (“what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”)
·Self-Confidence: have faith in your abilities; you know who you are and what you can do – because you have triumphed before
·Story: reaction is almost everything: what are you telling yourself that this bit of adversity means? Step back, breathe, tell yourself that you are calm, you can see things rationally, and you are open to possibilities (do not ask yourself questions like “why am I so stupid?”!!!) [https://www.facebook.com/…/a.398674654054…/442284429693739/…]
It’s not always easy to think clearly right after a negative experience – especially if it concerns a relationship. For those times you really need to release emotions before you can move on, check out this video for a helpful “exercise” – https://www.youtube.com/watch…
“Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” –Napoleon Hill.