Kathy’s Story Part 1

Preface: In February of this year, a close friend of the family knew she was not long for this world, having suffered through the pain of ovarian cancer. She asked her sister Karen to post the words that poured from her heart, a testament of sorts that could be passed on once she had been laid to rest…here, in part, are her thoughts….


The incessant chatter in my head

Reinforces the fear that I am not good enough

Any victory is short-lived

Knowing that failure hangs over me

Anxious that the next mistake

Will crack the fragile picture of my self-image

I cannot allow myself relief as I will be unprepared

Bound in misery like a straight-jacket that cannot be escaped

There it is again. That chatter in my head telling me I’m not good enough followed by the tightness in my belly reminding me to not let go of the fear of failure. If I let go then I am open to failure with no protection. Better to be prepared for disappointment than to be left open to a punch in the gut.

The pain of shame and lack that washes over me drowns out any joy. I don’t let myself feel joy anymore. When I’m at a concert singing, jumping up and down…that chatter in my head says ‘STOP!!! What are you doing letting down your guard?’ Then there it is again. The tightness in my belly and chest. Follows me everywhere. I feel hopeless. I can’t go on living this way.


I live on the surface of my life

Never time for deep connections

Always too busy for more than a brief encounter

Work, errands, tasks fill my days

No time to sit and talk

Let alone introspection

Afraid of connecting to people

Afraid of looking at myself

They and I will not like what we see

I know this is not how to live

But I cower in fear of finding a self that I cannot respect

A person who is not as magnificent as I dream to be


Being frozen in a hard glass shell

Protects me from finding the truth

From seeing my faults and limitations

I keep rolling along like a glass marble

Moving so that I cannot feel

The only thing I feel is fear

I know to be free the glass must shatter

But I cannot face the pain

Of me not matching my expectations

Only when I am slammed into a wall

There is no choice as the glass cracks

I am forced to look within

What I find is compassion for myself

Learning to show me the same kindness I give to others

Why did I wait so long?

That tightness in my gut turned into bloating…and a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Funny thing is that I wasn’t completely surprised about the diagnosis. I had always read that life nudges you along the way and if you don’t listen it knocks you in the head

Major surgery and two rounds of chemotherapy…forced me to stop and spend time with myself. The thing that I feared the most. Once I got passed the terror of facing my mortality I moved on with healing myself spiritually.

I’m not a religious person, so having faith in something greater than myself was foreign to me. I started watching videos…listening to podcasts by people that spoke of spirituality…such as Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks. I had to listen and read a lot before I was ready…to start doing what they told me, looking inside.”

How are you feeling as you read Kathy’s words? Do they resonate with you? Are you living with constant stress and in constant fear? Are you mostly consumed with ‘doing’ and not so much ‘being’?

We can say we are at the mercy of our genes, our families, our specific culture, our emotions and our debilitating mindsets. We’ve been taught that it’s not safe to share the reality of our challenges or to be vulnerable – not even with ourselves! We are afraid to be judged, to be scorned, to be rejected, and we may not be able to bear the thought of reflection because we are most crushed by the disappointment we feel with ourselves.

I am not good enough.

The effects of such perpetual self-criticism can manifest in many ways. It can show up as anger, blame, rebellion, procrastination, perfectionism and feelings of helplessness, etc. and can lead to self-destructive behaviour. It can also lead to CHRONIC PAIN.

Our hidden beliefs create thoughts of being a failure, which lead to the emotion of “unworthiness.” These limiting beliefs are not formed by our experiences per se, but by the deductions and inferences we make about them – true or not!!

Think about that. It doesn’t matter what the truth is, just what you keep repeating to yourself in your head.

Control Your Thoughts. This is the foundation for, well, everything. Pay attention to what you “mindlessly” tell yourself on a regular basis. Breathe. Meditate. Exercise. Feed your mind, body and soul with things that are nourishing. (In other words, practice self-care.) Stay aware and in the present, observe without judging.

Simple. Not easy.

The quality of your life is at stake; it is worthy, you are worthy, of the time and effort.

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Dawn Cady


Dawn Cady is Australia’s premiere transformation & pain management coach and winner of multiple awards for her groundbreaking work. The Neural Alignment Method®  is Dawn’s remarkable brainchild, bringing together the world’s best healing and mindset techniques. With unique expertise and passion, she has helped countless others to achieve real, tangible success, along with a renewed enjoyment and satisfaction in all areas of life.